1) higher confidentiality standards (no insurance accepted)
2) Email support between sessions
3) Coordinate care with your medical provider, if you wish
4) Quality Assessments done periodically
5) Progress updates every 6th session
6) Handouts to reinforce what you’ve learned
8) Testing for depression and anxiety, with actual test numbers reported
Scream Free School Year
For: Parents of All Ages
This Parenting workshop will allow you to gain practical tools of how to handle real life parenting challenges. Workshop topics include overcoming struggles with homework, routine, responsibilities, and respect. Come learn how to make school enjoyable for both of you.
August 14, 2014
Location: Rockwall Counseling, PA Building “B”
507-B E. Boydstun
Rockwall, TX 75087
Space is limited. Call to reserve your seat.
Limited Space Available
Workshop led by: Pare Radillo
Pare Radillo LPC-Intern
Debbie Tudor LPC-Supervisor
Call Pare at 214-675-8507 to register. Sign up deadline is August 7, 2014
Helping Kids Through Big Emotions
Children are little humans, who experience the whole gambit of emotions. You’ve heard the squeals of delight, seen the tears of sadness, and the throws of frustration. When your son bites his hand or when your 13 year-old has a screaming fit that started because you looked at her, what is really going on? Is it that she’s mad or can she just not communicate the feeling with you? Children often don’t have the words to tell you what they are feeling so parents are left interpreting the emotions for the child. So if your child is throwing tantrums, crying, whining, or just acting all kinds of crazy, understand that is the way he may be feeling on the inside. When you understand that, it will help you push through the undesired behavior and refocus on the issue. Once your child has a better understanding of the differing emotions and what emotions feel like in their own body, you will be able to help show them better ways to handle their strong emotions. It’s a tough job.
A child’s reaction to a stressful emotion may be a mirror of what the parents are feeling. When you are in a hurry because you woke up late and that’s the day your son decides he wants to try to tie his own shoes for the first time and you just don’t have the time for it. If your stress levels are high, your child is more likely to be disruptive, this is called mirroring. Children are great about showing us how we are feeling, if that happens look inward and ask what you may be putting out. Small changes in your reactions could reduce the anger and strong emotions in your household.
Reducing the anger in your home often starts with the parents. Take a look at how you react to situations and events, is your child reacting the same way? When someone tells you to calm down, does it help? Most likely no, then why would it help your child? There isn’t one technique that works for everyone so you may have to try several. When you get mad try:
-the cliché counting or deep breathing (both have to be done slowly and sometimes multiple times to help begin the calming)
-taking a time-out; adults need time away from the argument too but remember to re-approach the topic when you are calmer
-exercise, it’s one of the best anger and stress reducers and it doesn’t have to cost anything
-not to get caught in the drama trap. If your child likes to engage you and knows you will respond, stop engaging. Busy yourself with something else, turn your back to your child so you can re-center yourself, just don’t give your child the heightened response.
-try whispering instead of yelling; before responding take a deep breath and try to keep your voice calm, this is much more effective than yelling.
Once you have your anger under more control, you will then be able to help your child respond better. Changing your responses is hard but it models better coping skills for your child to use. There are a few things you can do to start helping your child through strong emotions. The first thing is to keep your own reactions in check and then:
-If at all possible, identify the emotion before the meltdown occurs and redirect. “Wow! You sound angry right now, how can I help?”
-Time-out with time-in. Your child may need some time to calm down. Be sure to readdress the conversation, differently this time, after about 10-15 minutes.
-Exercise. Get out with your child and get them moving.
-Create a calm down jar, instructions can be found online. The best thing about the calm down jar is that it’s portable and offers a distraction while your child is calming.
-Have things like bubbles, pinwheels, paper, crayons, bubble wrap or Play-Doh handy to offer a release.
There are many more ways to express emotions and to help teach your child more appropriate ways to let it all out. Remember your child only handles situations the best he knows how and changing that isn’t an overnight process. Whether your child is 3 or 16, patience and understanding are necessary throughout the process.
If your child’s anger is severe, it may be time to seek outside assistance. Children often share more information with someone other than their parents who will help them (and you) work out the issue.
Evan Woodall, LPC, NCC is a licensed professional counselor specializing in children and families at Rockwall Counseling, PA. She can be contacted by email at email@example.com or www.txkidcounselor.com.
Ten Signs You May Need Professional Therapy
We all go through challenging times in our lives, but some experiences are worse than others. There is NO problem that can’t be eased—a little or a lot—by seeking professional counseling .
Some problems are like a sore throat—we go to the doctor, get a short round of treatment, and feel better. But others, such as death of a loved one, relationship issues, parenting problems, moving to a new city, living with the after effects of abuse from childhood, dealing with an elderly parent, health or weight issues—are more like a cancer. The problem only grows without professional intervention.
So what are you experiencing?
1) I have low energy, “blahs”
2) someone in my life puts me down or threatens me
3) I can’t relax
4) I have the same fights over and over
5) people keep disappointing me
6) My sleep is disturbed
7) I can’t keep a job and/or a relationship
8) My temper gets out of hand
9) I wouldn’t mind if I weren’t here anymore
10) I feel guilty all the time
I have extensively studied how to help these and many other issues common to all people. Let’s get started making your life better! We will gently examine the things that are troubling you and I will guide you toward new ways of thinking and dealing with people to lead you toward freedom. Homework is an essential part of this process, as you take the suggestions I give you and try them out between sessions. Are YOU ready to change?
Healing The Past: Children of Narcissistic Parents
“Why is getting along with my mother so hard?” said my client, sighing deeply as she wiped away tears in session. “I feel anxious all of the time, I’m depressed, and I can’t even hear her sigh of disapproval on the phone without wanting to run and hide. What am I doing wrong?”
The tendency to feel like everything is your fault, and that YOU are in fact the one “doing something wrong”, is typical of the child of a narcissistic parent. Karyl McBride, PhD* also notes the following symptoms:
1) feeling “not good enough”
2) valued by your parent for what you DO, not who you are
3) feeling unlovable
4) constantly trying to win your parent’s approval
5) your parent emphasizes how your behavior LOOKS, or makes them look, over how you FEEL
6) your parent is jealous of you
7) your parent doesn’t support your healthy expressions of self, especially when it conflicts with their own needs or threatens them
8) In your family, it’s always about pleasing that one parent
9) your parent can’t empathize with you
10) your parent is critical and judgmental
There is typically a family “scapegoat,” a person on whom the family blames the problems. “If only Jane wouldn’t cross Mother…if only she would call her more often…THEN Mother wouldn’t get so upset.”
The truth of the matter is, a parent who is narcissistic is always going to be looking for ways that the “scapegoat” lets them down. This parent’s attitude is not, “what have you done for me,” but instead “what have you done for me TODAY?” It truly is never enough to get the “scapegoated” child off the hook.
Freedom comes when, with the guidance and encouragement of your therapist, you begin to gently challenge these things in the family and express your own needs.
*Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers