Is Someone Telling You You’re Crazy? Telephone Counseling for a Victim of Gaslighting from a Parent or Partner

“Debbie, is shouting the same as yelling?” the educated, intelligent patient sitting on my couch asked me earnestly.

“Of course,” I said, looking at her in puzzlement. “Why do you ask?”

“Because my husband tells me that it’s fine if he shouts at me because that’s not the same as yelling, so I shouldn’t be so sensitive,” she replied.

Making someone else feel they are crazy is a common technique used by narcissistic parents or partners. Here’s more signs you are being gaslighted:

1) blatantly denies their own misdeeds, even when the evidence is clear

2) tells you you’re too sensitive when you object to being called names or made fun of. Sarcasm is a common weapon for Narcissists.

3) Statements to you such as: You’re overreacting. You must be confused again. That never happened. You’re remembering it wrong. Just calm down.

 4) Unable to give an apology, or negates it with “but,” as in,  I’m sorry BUT you made me.”

5) Nothing is ever their fault.

Don’t attempt to debate. The narcissist is a skilled liar and will twist the situation so it appears you are always the problem.

See a therapist specifically trained in Narcissistic Exposure Recovery. You need to have a skilled counselor who can affirm reality for you.

Consider going No-Contact or Low-Contact with the narcissist. There’s a lot of pressure in our society to “forgive and forget”, but that only teaches them that they can treat you however they want and you’ll keep coming back for more.